Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
