question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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