If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
