No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
