Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
