were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
