on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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