I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
