They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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