Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
