who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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