Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
