O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
