The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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