I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Pooping to opera.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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