Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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