What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
