Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
