So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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