She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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