He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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