I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize