so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
