she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
