That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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