dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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