shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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