She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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