Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
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