I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize