u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
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