I think I am morally bankrupt
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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