She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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