Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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