make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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