Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize