it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Randomize
