I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
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