he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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