I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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