We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
