I feel like I'm in dance class right now
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Randomize
