I am in a vortex of obligation.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Randomize
