I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
