Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
