And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
