Will you blow on my dice?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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