just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
