hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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