I've blown a few things in my day
Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Randomize
