So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
