I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
