wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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