just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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