Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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