woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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