So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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