he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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