i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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