Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
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