office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
