you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
