Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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