$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
