I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
