I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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